Many parents have survived this before me. Tons of kids have asthma. Heaps of doses of medicine have been consumed already. My life is fortunate and I am grateful, but still I need to vent a bit about you, asthma, because let's face it, you suck. I hate you.
I hate that you are now officially residing in my kid. You have turned my life upside down. I just found myself listening to the sleeping sounds of my boy wondering if another attack is on the way. I worry about the crazy amounts of medication that is in this boy and will enter his body in the future. Why does my happy boy even need to experience the scariness of a breathing treatment or a hospital room? Will I ever get to enjoy watching my son running around the yard without worrying about him having another asthma attack? Can he outgrow this? Should I even bother signing him up for soccer now?
You suck asthma. I hate you. Yeah, I get it, others before me have found a way to make this work but I hate the new normal you are bringing to my life - worry, drugs and action plans.
I have jumped out of two planes, climbed a mountain, been lost in foreign countries and watched loved ones die, but nothing is more scary that watching my favorite person on the planet struggle to breathe and nothing you are doing is making it better. Again, I will get over this. I am stronger than this, but that doesn't stop you from sucking asthma. Please just leave.
P,S, Don't even get me starting on the realities of being a white parent of a black boy in a hospital. "And you are....?" I am holding someone who is struggling to breathe and he is holding me like he has given me every ounce of trust and you want to know who I am? I am his mother, the look of sheer panic and tears on my face should tell you that I am his family.
See asthma, see you what you have done already? You just keep sucking.