I sometimes think about ending this blog mainly because it forces me to find the time to stop and document what is happening. It's a good practice, but I do it for other single parents out there since its so easy to feel alone at times. So I share, hoping that someone sees themselves in the post and feels less isolated.
One of the most read posts on my blog is the one called, Secret Fears. In this post, I talked about the secret fears of adoptive parents. We fear we will never connect with our child or worse, our child not connect with us. Holding him my arms that first day alleviated my fears, but I wanted to share that the connection gets deeper every single day.
There are times when I look at my son and I ache with intense love for him. I want everything happy, healthy and joyful for him. Like most parents, I put his needs before my own. Sometimes when you see us out and about, my son looks put together and I look completely unaware of how disheveled I appear. And I don't care.
What's so amazing is how in sync we are with each other. My son is only 2 1/2 years old! How can he know me so well already? I was singing to myself and suddenly I hear a little voice singing along in the other room. We both track dirt from our shoes into the house, but he can tell which dirt is mine - "Mommy, clean your shoes before you come in the house!" We eat out of each others' plates. We both love big bear hugs while whispering in each others' ears. I can surpass him in random silliness and he can become suddenly logical and practical.
When your child comes into your path, it's not just another human coming along for the ride. This little being and I have around each other for multiple lifetimes. For someone who has been single so long, it's great having a partner in crime.
My son and I have many sayings between the two of us. One of them is that we make a great team followed by a fist bump or high five. Oh how true! So adoptive parents, I promise, that first moment is magical, but even more magical moments are in store for you!