Before my son arrived, I was the person you called to get things done. As a single person without kids, I had more free time on my hands than others. More often than not, I was available for any desires for restaurant visits. If you wanted to go out of town and not alone, I was your girl. Drop everything and go to the movies, heck ya. Check on something for you after work, of course. Now, I am the most unreliable person that I know.
Let me qualify that a bit. I am the most reliable person ever but only to one person, my son. If he is sick, hurt or needs something, I am there. Yesterday, I was 60 miles out of town for a work event when I learned that he had a fever. I immediately jumped in my car, speeding all of the way while talking to the doctor’s office to make an appointment before they closed.
So my reliability is now focused on just one person instead of all of my loved ones and myself. This is a typical parent occurrence. People have literally stopped asking me to do stuff since they know that I can’t do it and don’t want me to feel guilty about it. What I am feeling is perfectly normal, but at times, I can’t shake my guilt for this transition.
I was a single gal for a long time living in that world for most of my life. You grow accustomed to being the person that others reach out to in some way. Since my transition from single gal to motherhood happened in less than a 24-hour time period, the change was an abrupt U-turn in my life. Being this person was part of my identity and now it’s a part of my past.
Here are just of the things that I can no longer do as a mom:
Being unreliable does make me feel guilty but I have learned that the people who matter and understand my plight forgive me instantly. It’s the ones who can’t adjust to my new-found unreliable nature that are having the worst time of it. Finding new people to rely on for impromptu things is tough.