I don't know who is the biological father of my son. Thanks to the expensive search of my adoption lawyer, he never came forward. The biological mother claims that she does not know who he is and is unreachable. There, that's our back story.
Now, move to the present. My son is 2.5 years old and asks questions ALL OF THE TIME. His questions center around classic 2-year-old things like - what was that sound, what is that person doing and can you fix this. He is not asking where his father is, but he notices fathers pretty quickly.
Today at the Science Center, a young girl cried out and ran into the arms of her father. My son watched that and said, "That's her daddy." On TV, when a father helps one of his children, my son announces this, "That's his daddy."
I teasingly say on Father's Day that I am both the mommy and daddy, but it's not true. I am the mommy to the second power - Mommy2, but I am not the daddy. Yes, I am the primary parent, the main person he runs to when he is scared, but I cannot realistically be a father figure to my son.
What is my plan? At this time, nothing. I hope to answer the questions when he asks him, give him honest answers and help him connect with one or more fantastic men in our life as a great example of what a man can be.
I am not freaking out about this. Many people on this planet grow up to be fantastic people without knowing either parent. Fathers are important - no doubt, but for my son, it was not in the cards for him during this lifetime.
I just hope I can hold it together when the hard questions start coming.