I am lucky. I have a fantastic support system full of people who will drop everything at a moment’s notice and help me in some way. I hope you have some similar people in our life. These same people can also drive you completely insane by simply caring for you. Once my adoption profile went live, my grandmother called me everyday to learn if I had heard anything. At first, it was cute, but after 10 plus days of this and I was trying to put the thoughts of waiting outside of my mind, it was painful.
So, I decided to write a blog called Mommy Shark to share what was happening with the adoption process. I highly recommend it if you have a constant need-to-know support system like me. It gave me a way to educate people about the process, share where I was in this process and state my feelings.
The adoption wait was brutal for me mainly because I didn’t think that I would have to wait long. As the months dragged on, I was feeling raw and helpless. When I passed the average wait time of 14 months, I was inconsolable. Going past the average wait time was not supposed to happen to me. I need to cry it out on my blog then go on. If you are a private person, this option probably sounds awful to you but realize that I gave my loved ones safe ways to help me through this process. I answered common questions once about the process instead of repeatedly. Readers could see what I was thinking and avoid sensitive topics in person.
Writing down my thoughts on a regular basis was not foreign to me. During my fertility years, I kept a journal to document the process for myself. I wanted my child to know why I was making the decisions that I did in case something happened to me. The blog process was just a continuation of this process.
Don’t forget that blogs are not just one-sided events. They can make the experience collaborative as your readers reach out to you on the comment board or via email. People that I hadn’t seen in 15-20 years became regular readers of my blog. They shared my adoption profile link on their Facebook pages. They wrote lovely, encouraging notes to me during the process to lift my spirits. It can be a scary experience sharing your life and something so close to your heart on the Internet. It can also be a rewarding experience when you realize that you are not alone in your grief. Speaking out about my experience was my way to remind myself that even though I am a single parent, I am not alone.