I adopted my son four years ago. Adoption is a beautiful, complex process that most people outside of it don't understand. I know that. I remind myself of that constantly, but I still whince when my family members introduce my son to others as adopted.
My Dad moved into Assisted Living this year. He is surrounded with new friends. Instead of having us nearby, we are there for special visits several times a year since he lives six hours away. My Dad has educated his new friends about his family with picture books and stories.
Now it's Christmas. We made our way six hours down to see him. My Dad is excited calling the hotel constantly to find out when we will be there. Once we arrive, he wants to show off his grandson. Ok. But every introduction comes with the words, "This is my adopted grandson."
I know it's coming. I brace for it. People can look at us and see that he is adopted. We are not the same race. It's quite evident. My son knows that he grew in another woman's belly but that I brought him home.
I hope one day that I get over this. Why must people state the obvious when they introduce my son?
To explain, let me flip this around:
My son knows what the word adoption means. He now associates that label with himself. My mission now is to get the few people who decide to introduce him to others with this adjective to stop. Why can't he be just my son and someone's grandson?
P.S. Once again, I got the question from someone who met us this holiday season asking what was my son's country of origin. WTF. I find this question so strange. When I say, he was born in Raleigh, North Carolina, the person who asks seems so shocked.