My son says, " I want to tell you something." I stop. Give him my full attention and wait to hear the news he has to say. Sometimes it's just him repeating what he just said. Sometimes he wants to share something that he just figured out. Other times, he asks a question.
Today as I cleaned the house, my son followed me through every room asking why I was doing everything that I did. So I am cleaning and narrating at the same time. The clock is against me since I need to have him in bed for a nap and showered within the hour. My kitchen floor needed to be mopped so he sat at our kitchen table and watched. Then, he said, "Mommy I want to tell you something. Why do we have Rufus and Ollie?" (That's the name of our cats.)
Let me confess something. My son and I have not had the adoption talk yet. He is only 2 years old but I don't want to put this off much longer. I have been waiting for the right moment. It needs to be a natural part of our conversation. So, when he asked me this question, I thought, here is my chance.
As I was mopping, I told him the story of meeting Rufus and Ollie and how I realized that they were mine to love and nurture. I just looked at them and knew that I was their Mom. "Same way with you, Jules. When I met you at the hospital and you looked up at me, I realized that we have always known each other in some way and that I wanted to love you and be your mother. You looked at me too that day and we realized that we were meant to be together."
It was not in depth mainly because he is a toddler. We chatted a bit more about it. Tonight at dinner, he wanted to see the photos of us meeting at the hospital. He saw the photo I took of him when he was one day old looking at me in the face.
It's time to work in some toddler books on adoption. There are plenty of them out there.