I didn't want to write this post. I worry that this feeling is temporary. Every mother's day and every one of my son's birthdays so far, I feel this huge wave of emotion. It's overwhelming and hard to articulate. Let me explain.
When you spent years experiencing infertility, you are reminded how precious the creation of life actually is. Eight years ago, my life was about taking my temperature and ovulation tests. Every missed pregnancy opportunity broke my heart and I was convinced that I could not survive it. Then, you go to bed, sleep and wake up determined another day.
So today, I got to celebrate mother's day beside my squirmy 3-year-old son as I constantly reminded him to face forward and eat his lunch. I also found myself over my head in gratitude. This precious life synced with mine. His birth mother looked into my eyes in my brochure and realized that we were meant to be. The way the dominoes fell into place would seem unbelievable in any movie on the big screen. But here I am.
My heart is full. Gratitude, indeed. Hope is bigger and more possible than I ever dreamed. It sounds cheesy. It IS CHEESY. I can't help it.
For every person waiting to adopt or become pregnant today, I understand what you are feeling. It's a mix between anxiousness, anger and disbelief. The universe works in mysterious ways. When you least expect it, your greatest wish is realized. Don't give up.