Adoption creates families. Open adoption when the birth parents have the final say in who adopts their child is a marvelous win-win situation for everyone involved. It's complex just like all relationships but it has a level of transparency that is crucial for the child. I don't understand why anti-adoption people are still so vocal and seem so determined to discourage others who are considering adoption.
When you plan to adopt, especially using open adoption, your intent becomes very public. Anyone can find your information, see your photos and gain access to your adoption hotline through your online profile. People trying to adopt are encouraged to acquire toll-free numbers and not to use their personal phone numbers. The new phone number allows a potential birth parent to reach out to you to start the process. This number also allows people who do not like what you are doing to contact you. During my 16-month wait, I received several phone calls from prison inmates and one person trying to sell me her baby.
Creating your family is a beautiful thing but you do this in front of others who may not understand and/or don't like what you are doing. You have to realize this quickly in the process. If you are different in some way from the "typical" potential adoptive family such as a member of the LGBT community, single, non-Christian, etc, the likelihood of harrassment from anti-adoption individuals will increase.
I was lucky. I was never targetted by someone who was anti-adoption though I had other biases to deal with in person. As a member of several online adoption groups, I hear frequently of potential adoptive families being harrassed by others. I don't understand their stance. Most of the messages that are shared about those conversations are full of negativity and religious extremism.
We are a long way from the "baby dump" times when pregnant teens were sent away to have their babies and give them up to rejoin their normal lives. People are still pressured into adoption which is never a good thing, but now birth parents have so many more options. I am a huge fan of open adoption since that was my chosen approach, but I highly recommend that anyone who is considering this path for their child to do their research. Talk to several agencies, not just one.
Adoption is a positive thing. If everyone is educated about what is happening and the process has the highest level of transparency possible, it can be a beautiful thing. Adoption made me the mother of the happiest little boy on the planet. We talk openly about how wonderful his birth mother is and our hopes that she will choose to connect with us in the near future.
Don't let the negativity and harrassment of a few people keep you from exploring this option. Yes, there needs to be some changes to the laws that govern adoption. We need to talk more planily about the fees involved and the legal process, I believe we will get there when we agree to have real, open conversations about this, not through attacks to the people trying to become a parent.