Plan whatever you want. Add things to your calendar. Wake up on time, workout and take a shower. But that moment when your child wakes up with a fever, pow, your schedule is no more.
Suddenly plans get cancelled. The doctor's office is called. Your child wants only you. He cries until you hold him. You can feel his fever through your clothes.
You know exactly what to do. Medicine, doctor's appointment scheduled and lots of cuddles commences. It takes a while to get here.
When my son was a baby, all fevers scared me. I would lose my cool on the phone as I waited for the nurse. But now, I know what to do. As my son sat on the doctor's table sitting in his diaper, he could hear that babies in the rooms around us crying. We chatted about when he was a baby how he would cry but he doesn't have to worry.
I told him what the doctor was going to do. We whisper-sang his favorite songs and bumped elbows back and forth playing with each other.
My son is growing up so fast. He is full of new words and questions. As he grows, my confidence level in parenthood grows too. I know his little tells, how to make him laugh before he gets scared and ways to make him eat and rest. I also know how to feel confident when something happens and my plans become unraveled.
It's been a weird weekend. SCOTUS declared same-sex marriage is legal in all states, black churches were burned and people climbed flag poles to remove offensive flags.
My social media account is full of rainbow-colored people, people declaring that NOW they are moving to Canada which is strange since they legalized same-sex marriage there a while back and Christians stating that even though homosexuality is a sin, they love them anyway.
Everyone has their journey. The world continues to turn regardless where your heart lies or who you marry. All I know in the end that my son now lives in a country where he can freely love and marry whoever who chooses.
I am reading a book now called, I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla. It's giving me some peace now to understand how the young understand race. Though now it not that time, eventually my son will have tougher questions for me like why do people look at us that way out in public? Right now, I am not ready. I can't explain why our society favors whites over other races. It's not fair but so systemic that it seems overwhelming.
But the slogans I am seeing are true. Love does win in the end. I can love the Christian who calls homosexuality a sin and my gay/bisexual friends. I don't have to agree with you in order to give you compassion.
We still live in a country where everyone is not treated the same. That alone should be keeping us all up at night.
My son's godmother is one of my best friends. I have known her since 1996. We have been through the stressful opening of a TV channel, owning a video production company, client relationships with unrealistic deadlines, heartbreaking miscarriages, wimpy cries on the phone and email during a long adoption wait and baby sickness. She knows me better than most and can call me out when needed. Who better to trust my favorite person if someone happens to me?
Single parents become the singular focus of their child at times. We get all of the cuddles and hugs, but we are also the only person who really knows our children. All people come with quirks - favorite sayings, hobbies, strategies, etc. It can sometimes be scary when I think that I am in the only person who knows how to prep his bed before he goes to sleep. All those little half-spoken sayings, I can get and address before he reaches the other half of the sentence. That's why choosing the right Godmother is mission critical.
My son's Godmother just spent a week with us at the beach and she knows all of this tricks. I sat there watching her read EVERY book I brought for him most nights in sheer delight. I could leave the room and she would whip up his favorite meal, convince him to stay focused to eat it and having him occupied with something in the room without asking for directions.
He adores her completely. On our first morning back from vacation waking in our own beds, he immediately wanted to know where she was and why she was not there. To some people, it might hurt your feelings to see your child long for someone else like this. Not me. Nope. This longing makes me feel safe knowing that someone other than me - GETS my son.
If you are a new parent, single or otherwise, heed this advice. Take the choice of a Godparent seriously. It's not just the person who will step in if something happens to you. It's an important adult relationship that your child will have outside of his/her parents.
This week I saw once of my greatest fears played out in front of me. While seated under a sun tent watching my son cover his godmother in sand, a young father was ushering two young children back from the ocean. One was new to running and the other one was older than my son, about three years old. Both of these children decided to take off in different directions - one for the dunes away from their blanket, the other, the ocean. I remember vividly the look on his face, who do I save?
All parents are tired. Honestly there is never a time when a parent of a young child would ever skip out on the offer of a nap, back rub or massage. Parents are the real zombies. I don't eat brains but after seeing me on an extra tired day could make you run.
This week in particular, I feel like I am physically dragging myself through this week. Last week, I had heaps of energy, worked out every day, obeyed my food app and slept. This week, I have let my fitness apps down. My son shared his summer cold with me and thanks to medication, I am upright for the most part.
Tonight I saw my image in a family photo and my efforts to hide my levels of tired have failed. Yes, I am that tired. So with that said, I am going to grab my medications and go to bed. This mommy wants to de-zombie-fy herself.
I have never needed a vacation more than RIGHT NOW.