Choosing an adoption agency is a lot like choosing a mate. You have to go with your gut instinct. A lot of them out there promise you the world, but you have to feel good to your core about signing that paperwork.
Luckily I did feel that way about my agency. After 3.5 years of failed pregnancy attempts, adoption was my second wave. MANY agencies would not even talk to me. As a single person, I was too high risk and/or I represented something that they did not want. I remember stepping outside during my lunch hour at work calling numerous agencies that literally hung up the phone me. "We don't work with people like you."
Some people experience a setback and stop. I got angry and pushed on. I am a good person, a person who is determined to walk through fire and biased staff people to become a mother. I am not a Christian so I did not want to go through a religious agency. I wanted something open and transparent that did not make adoption feel "less than". My child would know s/he was adopted immediately and we would have access to the birth parents. My core values were certain but finding the right agency took so much work.
I signed with the Independent Adoption Center in Raleigh, NC. It concerned my family since they worried that something so open meant that the birth parents could change their minds years later and take the baby away. It wasn't a lawyer who sealed a deal with someone and cut my ties with a birth parent completely. It feel good.
I am sitting here now four years on the other side of our adoption. I am a one and done, no more kids for me. Every parenting muscle in my body flexes now for just one sweet boy. But, still my heart breaks. I learned this week that our adoption agency filed for bankruptcy and closed down. 500 plus waiting families had paid their fee and were waiting for a child. Their journey is long and full of tears. My thoughts are with them.
Why did it fail? I don't know. I have read a lot this week. I don't know the facts from the rumors. Others are reporting that the agency has been locked up in litigation and lost a lot of it's money in the process. Thanks to more money going to preventative care and education, the number of unplanned pregnancies has going down. Whatever the answer, it does give me time to pause and realize how grateful I am to have this sweet boy in my life.
Life is funny. It never twists and turns the way you expect. Surprises like this make you question if your dreams are possible. If your desire to become a parent runs deep and if you still cannot imagine another quest, then don't give up. Don't let this one setback derail you. Cry your eyes out, dry your tears, hire a lawyer, fight the fight you need to fight and keep going. You've got this.